Mental Gymnastics

Musings On My Addiction

I can't help but find myself in a complex knot amidst the goings-on of everyday life. Why I can't just take the easy way through remains but a mystery to me. At this point, I can actually anticipate how things are gonna be given the daily choices that I make. I can segment things. In fact, i'm good at it. And given that there's still so much that I want to do, I somehow end up doing at least 3 things all at the same time.

I can still remember how I got so bored when there was no work at all for me in the office. I've watched several episodes of several anime series on my PC. I frequented trainings and pretty much cleared and organized our processes and files back then. Then I took language lessons, and eventually, got into outdoor stuff. Should I decide to give up my day job, I think my system will always look for something to work on just to keep me busy. There's always volunteer work or project-based work, and of course there's the house that always needs to be kept. I think it's an addiction. I can't stand being idle and I can't understand how a lot of people are comfortable in being idle for a long time! (a month is long enough for me.)

I enjoy long vacations only when it means that it's some time-off from work. What if i'm not working? What's a vacation then?

Back in grad school when I had a lot of time on my hands (in-between my thesis months), I ended up travelling a lot for family errands. I still recall waking up in 3 different rooms within one week, wondering which family house I was at. I felt out of place with the rest of the world as I was neither in business, nor enrolled in the academe.

Somehow, come to think of it, there were but a few minutes when I actually enjoyed the stillness of my life. It was then when I learned how to appreciate the "slowness" of change. It was but apt for me to notice that since my folks where just starting out their farming projects then. Hats off to farmers who understand the nature of life, growth and change.

Or maybe it's the corporate world. I remember I had to adjust again when I came back to work. I left Jewelmer coz I got burned out. It's coming to a full cycle again right now with HS. It seems like my threshold level increased a lot when it comes to my tolerance for stress. Or maybe it's coz of age. I'm just glad that it doesn't show much on my face. Me, 27? Hehe!

Oh well! Nope, i refuse to call this (work) an addiction. I guess i'm just learning the art of living and being worry-free. One thing's for sure though, if you're happy, it shows!

posted by kquill @ 7:22 PM