Mental Gymnastics

Nocturnal Living

It started as a fad. I was a college senior, savoring our last months in school. My peers began cajoling me to spend a night with them at a nearby bar. It was a night of many firsts. I was young and we were having fun. When I showed up in class the next day, I knew I was different. I felt a bit unruly. Then I began cutting classes.

Graduation came and went. I was labeled ‘yuppie’ although I never quite understood what it really meant at the time. I merely went were everyone else was flocking to. For a time I thought I enjoyed dancing, only to realize that I needed at least a shot of tequila to have fun on the dance floor. It was always exhausting afterwards.

For years, I shared many long evenings with just a handful of people. We shared many thoughts, from relationships, angst, to philosophies, debated on religion, existence and discovered many other things together. Those were the nights which I hoped would never end. We all felt lost and consoled ourselves with one another. Somehow, not everyone understood. The night embraces those who are lost, hurt or are abandoned.

Work got all mixed up with my nightlife. I learned how to enjoy cocktails, attend dinners and have nightcaps. I worked better at night, especially when I was doing my writings. For a time, I couldn’t distinguish the difference between partying and working. The places and people that used to dazzle me now became common as I swang from one new place to another. It was too common that it became part of my lifestyle.

It burned me out. I thought drastic changes would do me good so I shifted from my usual path. Hence, I took up my Masters.

Except for Saturdays, we only have night classes in Grad school. I enjoy taking long walks to or from class since our building is within a residential area, away from the main hustle of the city. And when the pressures of finishing the degree began to arise, I found myself chilling out in bars, once again. Only this time, I didn't feel lost anymore.

Once again, the nights were long, but it no longer engulfed me. I was meeting people, and was actually enjoying their company. I learned how to socialize.. for real this time and not because I had to.

posted by kquill @ 6:54 PM