Sa Bukstor
Pumunta 'ko sa National Bookstore kahapon para bumili ng kard at para doon ko na rin antayin si Ate. Sa kahihintay, nakita ko yung "The Last Temptation of Christ" ni Nikos Kazantsakis. Isa 'to sa mga nobela na pinagpilian namin nung nag-major ako ng Lit. Yun kasi yung 1st choice ko sa pag-report. Kaya lang sabi ni Ma, na-ban raw yung libro dito sa Pinas nung panahon ni Marcos, kaya bagama't hindi ko siya nahanap noon, hindi pa rin nawala ang pagka-intriga ko dito.
Tumungo ako sa Powerbooks dahil alam kong meron din sila nito. Atsaka naalala kong meron nga pala akong Track Card, para masulit naman. Malay mo mapuno ko rin yun! Magiging Powerbooks Club member ako kung nagkataon. May isa kasi akong ka-opisina na nakapuno na nung Track Card. Siya yung geek na mahilig sa collectibles tulad ng books, CDs and toys.
Sa tagal ko sa Powerbooks, napabili pa ko ng dalawang libro ni Bob Ong, ABNKKBSNPLAKO at Bakit Baligtad Magabasa ang mga Pinoy. Ipapadala ko yun sa States. Bukas na alis ng pinsan ko papuntang US para dumalo sa kaarawan ng Daddy niya.
Nagsimula nang kumalam ang tiyan ko. Mag-aalasiete na kasi ng gabi, wala pa ring text mula kay Ate. So tumambay muna ko sa Children's section. Matagal ko na kasing balak kolektahin yung Chronicles of Narnia ni C.S. Lewis. 7 books yon and around P1500 yung isang set ng mga small na paperback edition. Gusto ko sana yung mas malaking version pero hindi naman kumpleto yung nakadisplay.
Naku! Medyo nahihilo na ko! Ang tagal ni Ateee!!! Tapos, bigla nag-ring yung celfon ko. Paalis na sila ng carpark, daanan na lang daw ako para iabot yung pictures. Siempre naimbyerna ako kasi, buong akala ko eh magkikita kami ni Ate para tulungan ko siyang pumili ng mga pictures. Susmaryosep! I was really pissed off kasi ang tagal niya kong pinag-antay. Sana pinadaan na lang niya ko sa office niya para hindi nasayang oras ko!
Arrggghh!!! So the moral of the story is... ay ewan! Basta alam ko, nalilibang ako sa bukstor. Ok lang sa kin and magpalipas oras dun. Yun nga lang, madalas eh napapabili ako o di kaya, humahaba yung listahan ko ng mga "must have" na libro. Kung sa ibang tao, sa damit, sapatos o CD sila nagsusunog ng pera, ako sa libro.
Watch the World Spin
"And you've been so busy lately
That you haven't found the time
To open up your mind
and watch the world spinning
gently out of time
Tell me I'm not dreaming
We're running out of time"
(Artist:Blur)
I've been playing this over and over at work and sometimes, I can't help but ponder on the reality behind the lyrics.
What I like about our office is that we have floor to ceiling windows throughout the entire floor. We got a good view of Buendia, SLEX as well as the bay area. I can even see the PLDT tower from here.
Anyway, it's quite often that I catch my officemates staring out by the window. Sometimes I wonder what goes on inside people's heads when they're doing that. When I'm the one looking yonder, I'd often think back on the times when I watched the world spin... through the 360 degree view on top of Pico de Loro, the neverending tides of Mindoro, the approaching storm at Zambales, the rising of the great big moon in Batangas, the mysterious air in Banahaw, the wonderful shades of trees in my numerous trekking exploits, an so on and so forth.
Maybe I did have the chance to watch the world spin. Although I must admit, those four years at Jewelmer passed by like a breeze. I don't even know how I managed to survive and surpass those years.
They say that I'm just using the job that I have right now as a breather. Maybe, maybe not but when Jas laid this out to me explicitly, it absolutely made sense.
I've seen plenty of rifts after college. Friendships were put to test, families grew, morality questioned, tragedy struck me quite a few times and yet, I'm still here welcoming each new day.
I used to have so many questions and craved for all the answers. My quest for knowledge although diluted is still quite insatiable.
"Tell me I'm not dreaming. We're running out of time." There is so much to see, so much to explore, be it mundane or esoteric. To live fully and well.. blame me not for the diversity of my interests and the multitude of my thoughts.
Akira
"Put your affairs in order colonel..
...grasp that power and control it!"
Akira is the ultimate energy. It is the source of energy and knowledge. Humans, and every little creature that exist have incredible amounts of energy inside them. That energy gives us the power to build things and this power is inherent in us, it's within our memory.
"What if everyone shares those memories and what if something shakes up that memory?"
Man's search for power ultimately leads to his own destruction. It's history repeating itself over and over.. be it in textbooks, popular fiction or in this case, Japanese animation.
The likes of Akira and Neon Genesis Evangelion, contemporary anime flicks traversing on the obscure, playing with bizarre philosophies and the common faults of man, attacking fundamentalist beliefs and rationals. Such creativity and profundity, often wrapped in futuristic settings are intertwined in a visual spectacle of art in film. And they're definitely not for minors.
When I was younger, I never could follow the entire story because it was probably too much for my puny head, or because they stopped showing the rest of the episodes. There are plenty of insightful messages in the vast world of anime although not everyone may be mature enough to understand them. However, it's quite disheartening to see how the stories reflect so much of the truth behind today's society. Watching them now makes me feel hopeful, privileged and still, entertained.
At ToyKingdom
I was in SM Lucena last Saturday with my ten year old niece. We were at ToyKingdom, going through every interesting item that they had on the shelves. She showed me the toys that she like while I get to point out some of the toys that my officemates collect and display in the office. Then I saw rocket launchers that were exactly like the ones that we had in the office.
The rocket itself is made of foam and is lunched by air that is generated by a simple movement of the plastic stick. I went in full detail as to how it works and how much fun we had in the office as we aimed and fired the rocket. She was probably so taken in by my enthusiasm that she ended up pleading for me to buy it for her.
I explained the impracticality of the purchase. I reminded her that she can't have objects flying around inside the house. She said that she'll be playing with it only in school. They're allowed to bring one toy every Friday in school. (Kids..they sure can reason well!)
Well, I really didn't plan to buy anything there since we were just there to meet my sister. Of course that caused her a bit of frustration. The next day though, I ended up buying her a Disney video, 'Lilo and Stitch', just to make up for the rocketlauncher.
Cool or Clueless
It amuses me to see how people allow themselves to fall prey to trends, ads and gimiks that flood our city. Most spend at least a month's salary just to get the latest cellphone unit even if they can't figure out how to use all of its features. Some thinks it's cool to be seen in private parties or the popular bars in town. There are those who find it chic to pay at least P100 just for a cup of coffee at trendy cafes. People flock to the malls for a weekend sale.. ever noticed how stores go on sale every payday weekend? And don't forget the fashion victims!
Maybe it's because they don't want to feel left out. Or they're not confident enough that they allow trends and fads to define themselves. Or are they really that clueless?
All this superficiality, brand-consciousness and labeling.. is really just a big LIE! I pity those who allow themselves to be brainwashed by advertisements. However, I'd give a big thumbs up sign to those people behind the 'trend-making' business coz that means they're doing a great job. But for people who take these ads, trends as gospel truth..??
I've done Marketing and Advertising work for at least four years and that has stripped away the influence of ads and trends on me. I can still recall how we created the need for our products. We made a lot of 'conditioning' for our market which eventually, grew. And that's good business for us.
I don't see anything wrong with wearing the latest in fashion, having the 'cool' gadgets or partying in trendy places. I just think it's stupid to be, do or have something just because it's cool.
To be cool is to be confident of who you are. It's not allowing trends and advertisements to tell you who you ought to be.
Family Conversations
"Can I avoid temptation?"
"Of course. You're always free to choose, or make your own decisions."
"What if freedom is taken away from me"
"Physical freedom may be taken away from you but not your free will."
I wanted to explain to him the concept of 'free will'. That we are what we make of ourselves. That despite the limitations being set on us, we can still make the most of what we have.
Then it dawned on me. I'm talking to a boy who's barely 14 and has been forced by his parents to move into a different country, a different school and different household. He once said that his life is in Macau. I also found out that he has a girlfriend there.
Well, I realized that I can't go philosophical on my nephew, so I had to be more like a big sister. Often, I just listened and if necessary, i then share my thoughts and experiences hoping that the younger mind would understand the life lessons that I've learned. But our conversation was cut short. Eventually though, I found out that he's already keeping himself busy here even if he's only been around for two weeks. He's now part of the varsity basketball team and I think he had no problems making new friends.
I'm sure there's still plenty of adjustments for everyone in the house that we share in the province. He's my cousin's son and is a newcomer in my parents' household where a brother and sister, children of my other cousin, have also moved into a year ago.
Going home to the province is like going to a retreat. I get to talk my elders and share their thoughts on life as a grown up. I also get to reflect on my childhood and my growing up years as I relate with my nephews and nieces. Sometimes it's a bit tiring because I need to make the most out of my short stay there. Upon returning to Manila, it's back to the superficial, fast-paced routine of city-living.
A Friendship Jump Over
True friends can grow separately without growing apart.
I was chatting with my friend Marj the other day and she asked me if I have a female bestfriend whom I had for years. When I said yes, she then asked if there ever came a time when I felt that our friendship seems to be deteriorating. I said "Of course!". I even thought we’d end up hating each other’s guts.
I can’t remember exactly how it all started. I’m never good with memories anyway, especially bad ones. What I do recall is that when she left for the US, we were in bad terms. But before she left, she personally delivered a goodbye letter to my house. I wasn't home then, and was still in pain. I vaguely remember the letter, perhaps it didn't mean much back then. I thought it was the end of our friendship.
Months passed and lo and behold, i received a hello card from her. The mail was actually quite thoughtful since emails were already in vogue. And it came to a point that it was up to me to decide wether or not I'd want to be friends with her again. We talked, listened and heard each other out. A dialogue is important in true friendship. Eventually, of course, we managed to patch things up.
I guess humility, honesty, support and understanding helped a lot. 'Expectations' were probably what caused the rift. But we've gone passed that and despite the distance, and the changes in our lifestyles, we managed to remain friends. We're even closer now than before.
She returned to Manila sometime last year with her husband, and is now nursing their first born. Come Sunday, July 18, 2004, I'll be godmother to their daughter Iya.
We've been through a lot Thet and I. And I'm always amazed and grateful to see how far our friendship has brought us. We may be living different lives right now, but we both know that we're always there for each other no matter what.
